"I thought I didn't qualify. I was considered, what was it...volatile, self-centred, and I don't play well with others."

So, I've been wanting to do a post in defense of Iron Man / Tony Stark for a while now. Because several people I know don't care much for him.... *cough* You know who you are. :)

 I really like him, and I wanted to explain why. But I put it off until I saw Iron Man 3, so that I would be even more well versed on the subject than I already was.

We went and saw it on Monday.... and ooooh. my. gosh. I loved  it!! Tony was a lot more vulnerable in this one than he was in the others, his relationship with Pepper is adorable, and he has to rely on his wits more in this one than the first two.

 There were a few things I didn't care for: really quick unnecessary scenes with scantily clad ladies... three, I think. And the bad guy felt a little Die Hard-esque. He wouldn't die. But other than that.... wowowowow!

Anyway, back to the point. There'll probably be spoilers in from Iron Man 3 in the rest of this.

So (there's that pesky word again). I know why people don't like Tony. They say he’s selfish, he’s a jerk, he’s arrogant, he’s annoying….

And I get that. I really do, I can see how you wouldn't like him, and I can see how you would think he’s not fantastic

However!

I…. respectfully disagree. (See what I did there?)

I mean sure, he can be a jerk. He can be arrogant. He can  be selfish. So I can  see how it could be hard to like Tony Stark.

But he's not always those things. Think about it, the reason he was building all those weapons in the first film was because he wanted to help protect America, and when he got captured and tortured he still wouldn't build the bad guys a Jericho missile. That was brave.

 In the second movie when he gets Pepper strawberries he was humble.

In the Avengers when he helps Bruce Banner deal with being the Hulk, he was kind.

And there is no way on this earth you can tell me he was selfish when he grabbed that nuke and was willing to sacrifice his life to save the world.

If you've seen all the Iron Man movies, and the Avengers, and you still don't like Tony, then you are only seeing the surface of this character. Tony isn't actually narcissistic to the extreme that he portrays. That’s just part of his personality. He’s clever and a smarty-at-the-party, but that doesn't make him infatuated with himself. I think that he uses the sarcasm and snarkiness and arrogance as a shield to protect himself from the world. I mean, think about his back history.

1.) Family life is everything. It’s what shapes you and molds your character. Tony’s stank! According to Iron Man 2, I think….  I think his dad was a bit of a drunk. (Which is what probably influenced Tony’s bad habits??) His dad had little to no time to spend with him. He was preoccupied with work and work and did I mention work? The videos in Iron Man 2 seemed like there was a lot of Howard Stark saying, “Not now, Tony.” “Tony, run along.” “Tony, don’t touch that!” That’s not exactly the kind of dad who’s going to encourage his son to grow up to be a selfless, kind person. Tony got everything he wanted, except support and love from his father. When people are unhappy, they tend to lash out, and the way Tony does is by being arrogant.

2.)  Do we even know what happened to his mom? I know Tony was an orphan by the age of 17. But it doesn't really go into a whole lot of detail about her.

3.) He’s an only child. He has no family. He’s completely alone, except for Pepper. And the guy who was like his second father completely betrayed him. Obadiah arranged for him to be kidnapped and killed in Iraq, temporarily paralyzed him, stole his arc reactor, and left him vulnerable to the shrapnel in his chest. Really. No wonder he has trust issues, poor man! I think he's kind of afraid to care about people because when he does, bad things happen. His parents are dead, Yinsen is dead, Obadiah is dead, Coulson is probably dead (though the fandom screams "Nooooo! Coulson LIVES!"), Happy gets put into a coma, Pepper gets captured and almost killed a lot.

Tony doesn't like getting hurt so he builds walls to protect himself, and those walls manifest as sarcasm and narcissism.

Speaking of Pepper. She's the one thing that's precious in Tony's life; he does everything he can to protect her. When his house is blowing up he doesn't use his Iron Man suit himself, he gives it to Pepper to make sure she's safe!

That is the cutest couple name ever.

I know a major problem people have with Tony is that he was a playboy. Okay.  Here’s the thing. Yes. At the beginning of the first film, he definitely was a playboy. Yes, I agree and concur. Shame on him. Shame. Shame. That first movie especially was a shocking with regards to that. And I don’t support that at all. He was a total jerk at the beginning of Iron Man. However! (dun duh duuuuh) After he was kidnapped and tortured and mistreated, it was like, BOOM! Much more moral. He realized that he’d been stupid, and not just through building weapons of mass destruction like the Jericho. He realized he was actually quite in love with Pepper (and seriously. What’s not to love? She’s adorable.) And he got his life together really, really fast. Once he figured that out, and he and Pepper were a couple, he never once cheated on her. Sure, he eyed other girls, but let’s face it. It’s almost impossible to make a complete moral turn-around at the drop of a hat. Things like that, especially from how far down he was, take time, and he was doing pretty well.

I don't know. I guess the point I'm trying to get across is,

But maybe you shouldn't. Tony's not perfect, but he's trying, and he's really very sweet once you get past the outer shell of his personality. He doesn't like being brave, but he is when it's necessary. He doesn't think he's a hero. But he is.

Tony Stark.

Genius: He built and Iron Man suit in a cave!.... with a box of scraps!
Billionaire: He can afford to build more Iron Men!
Playboy: Not anymore.
Philanthropist: he helps people.
Hero: He is.

I think I covered all my bases. And now I shall go. :)