Sunday, February 7, 2016

La Vita

Sometimes all the best laid plans just fall through and it makes me super sad because I was going to do all these fun sorts of pictures and drawings for this Picture Saturday in preparation for Valentine's Day... and it fell through.

I don't know....

I know sometimes artists go through these stages where their brain and their hands don't communicate very well, and even when they want to draw, the hand is basically just like, "Nope!"I know it's just something that artists go through, and if I'm gonna be an artist, I have to learn to deal with it, but it seems to be happening to me an awful lot lately. And there are fewer things more depressing than having a day off and wanting to draw and not being able to.

Like seriously, it's so irritating, because you know you know how to do this! This is easy art! And your hand won't art, and you just sit there crying like, 'PLEASE ART."

So you sit there, drawing and erasing, and drawing, and erasing and by the time you're done your paper is basically a crinkled giant smudge, and you're sitting in the middle of the living room eating nutella with a spoon and listening to Grande Amore. Because if anyone can make you feel better, it's Il Volo.

So yeah, that's why there was no Picture Saturday-- or Sunday, for that matter.

Lots of frustrations.

I might try to pre-schedule a post for this coming weekend, because I just know that if I don't, there won't be one..... Since I work at a flower shop and it's Valentine's Week. Which is fine, it comes with the territory, but overall the week ends up being kind of exhausting.

I'm consoling myself with the fact that MY ENTIRE FAMILY is going to Disneyland on the 16th,* and Sammi's gonna join us, and we're literally going to take Disneyland by storm and it's going to be epic.

*Reason #4455 why my brother is cooler than your brother. 

Speaking of which, we're going to be gone over that weekend. Would one of you fabulous people like to guest post for that Picture Saturday? You could do a photodump, or just one picture that you've worked on, or you could talk technique or which medium is your favorite. It's up to you.

Also, the first bit of this year's going to be fun, because we have Disneyland in February, I'm going to visit my sister and her family in March, (!!!!!!!!!!!!) and in April there's Joe's wedding.

Life can can be so chaotic and insane and for people like me, it's hard to deal with it sometimes, because A.) I don't like change and B.) I literally stress out over everything. It's so stupid! I'm aware it's stupid! I know that normal people don't live their lives with a perpetual sick feeling in their stomach, but that's just the way my life is.

*I need to go to work? Sick feeling in my stomach.
*I need to go grocery shopping? BY MYSELF? Sick feeling intensifies.
*I need to find another job? Develops ulcer.

Actually, speaking of ulcers, I have a jury summons for the 29th of this month, so if I could get everyone to pray that I don't have to go, I will love you all forever.  

We had some friends come up over night on Saturday and we stayed up late watching Ip Man and Leverage and basically partied like old people. We always forget to take pictures, but we all get along so well, we literally have conversations like:


And then we proceed to yell at each other about fandoms and books and self-defense and it's great fun all 'round.

I don't even know, guys, this post is super rambly.

There's this song that mah guys sing, called La Vita, and when I looked up the English lyrics, it was like a perfect representation of my mood and so I'm going to leave you with this rough translation and call it a night.

Is there anything realer in the world
And we almost never notice it
Almost never, almost never
Sometimes we have a sort of fear of life
because there are many things
That aren't okay in life

What do we expect, what do we expect from life?
No, it's impossible to waste this life

Nothing's as wonderful as life
And maybe many people don't know

Is there anything realer in the world
And we almost never notice it
Almost never, almost never

 And it tripped me up a little, because of reasons.

So there you go. I'm sorry there was no art this week. I shall do my best to make sure there is art Saturday morning next time!

I love you all!


  1. Poor dear! Don't put too much pressure on yourself, sweet lady. You're doing the best you can to art. You can't expect more of yourself than that! Get some inspiration, try to relax, and the art will come. Rejoice in the times when you CAN art and trust in the off days that it'll come back in time.

    1. Awwww. Thank you. :) You're so sweet lol. I'm currently browsing pinterest for inspiration and I'm feeling more positive. Like "Aw yiss, I can feel the art." XD

  2. isn't it a very common thing to have days like these? I know I do. perhaps you can post about something else you're interested in? for me, I find if I can't draw, I don't do it. frankly, it's easier and also, why add pressure to yourself when you don't need to?

    hope you have a super time in disneyland.

    1. I gather it is a common thing... but doesn't mean we have to like it, right? lol. I'm thinking I might do a post about music because art and music are pretty much the two things I'm actually good at. :) (I know I'm supposed to let art just *come* but I feel bad when I miss too many picture saturdays ;)

      *squeals cause Disney*

  3. GRANDE AMORE!!!! I ALMOST DIED WHEN SPIDERMAN DROPPED FROM THE CEILING!!!! I MEAN, HOW RIDICULOUS CAN YOU GET?!?!!?! So, I made my brother listen to Si Me Falta Tu Mirada, since it's my favorite so far, and he was like, "Whoa. These guys are good." Happiness. :)

    Have fun at Disney,darling. Sounds like you have a cool bro.

    ~D. Skye <3


      Si Me Falta Tu Mirada is one of my favorites too. It just... Keeps BUILDING. And I love the refrain, it's gorgeous. Have you watched the L'amore Si Muove video? It's cool. (Also, right? It's always so exciting when you like something and a sibling actually agrees lol.)

      Thanks, we will! (And he really, really is.)

  4. AWWW I GET THE "I WANT TO ART BUT CAN'T ART" FEELING ALL THE TIME. Except it's like writing??? Or like, um, blogging. -_- And arting too, but tbh I haven't even tried to art since Christmas because I am a lazy fiend and keep falling face first into books. #noregrets
    Omg yayyyy for Disneyland. :D YOU SHALL RULE IT MAGNIFICENTLY.


  5. I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I compose music and that's a similar artistic process, and let me tell you, how many times do I just sit and stare at the stupid manuscript papers and do nothing. :P I hope you get out of the slump quickly though (gives you a jet pack). There, now you can fly out! You're a good artist.
    And congrats on going to Disneyland, that sounds like a lot of fun!

    1. Oooooooh you compose music? Do you share it? CAN I HEAR????? (I get very excited about stuff I like, so art? YES. Music?? YEEEEEEEESS.

      But hehe, thank you for the jet pack, I feel so positive now. ;) Thank you.


    2. Haha, your welcome!
      I've been doing it for about a year, and I'm still not Claude Debussy. :P But if you would like to hear something, I can post it on youtube or I can send it to you, whatever you like. I'm happy to get opinions on stuff! :D

    3. haha. :)

      But Claude practiced way longer than a year so.... I would love to hear. Youtube is good, if you could send me the link. I love hearing music. :)

    4. Here you are, the sound is a little tinny because when I wrote this my music software didn't export to mp4 audio, so I just played it back and recorded it on my phone. XD Hope you find it pleasant.

    5. Wow, oh my goodness, you composed that? That's gorgeous, Monica! I love it! All those counter-melodies are amazing! Wow!

    6. Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it!

    7. you're welcome! Thanks for sharing. :)

  6. I know what you mean. Sometimes I sit down to write and. . . yeah. Even if I make myself write I know I just wrote four thousand words of drivel, and after editing I'll be keeping a grand total of zero words. :P

    You're going to Disneyland! That's so awesome!

    Having friends like that come over is the best! Because they understand everything you say. Half the time you don't even have to say anything. And you can make fandom references and people actually get it.

    I hope you have a good week even though it will be busy. :D

    1. Yeah, people tell you to push through it and just keep drawing, but I've learned from experience that when I do that, I hate ALL THE ART. And that's not good. lol. My sister tends to write more than one story at once so that if she can't make herself work on one, she works on the other, and it makes it all better....


      I know, right? It's really hard trying to find movies to show each other, because we have the same tastes and we are literally like, "have you seen this movie?" "Yep. This one?" "Seen it." and so when someone references something it's hysterical. ;)

      I think it will actually be okay, we've got some extra people coming in, which will be a big help. ;)

  7. So sorry you've had a rough week of it! (And I'm definitely praying you won't have to be on jury duty.) I read an article discussing art block (or art slump), and the article said that it usually goes away by itself after a while. Here's the link:

    Your family vacation sounds fun--it's something to look forward to! Will you post about the trip once you return?

    There are days I face the world with a sick feeling as well, though it's because of health problems that make daily routine quite frankly, feel like a fight. So I understand how you feel, and I'm praying you'll find peace from stress, because that is no fun.

    Sorry if this comment feels choppy and random; I have very few brain cells today, but did want to stop by and say hi. :-)

    1. Me too lol. (Thank you so much, I'll let you know what happens. I do not want to go. I am *scared* lol.) OOOH Jenny Dolfen! SHE'S AWESOME AND SELF TAUGHT AND PAINTS WITH COFFEE. *heavy breathing*

      Ehehehehe, it's going to be so crazy. (Yeah, we plan on taking loads of pictures.)

      *fist bump* I think it takes a special kind of person to feel afraid all the time, and feel sick with it and still manage to pull through and get through the day. At that point, every day is kinf of a quest completed and it makes you stronger. ...

      BUT THANK YOU FOR SAYING HI! Also your art kills me.

    2. Jenny Dolfen does really good work! Her tutorials helped me learn the basics of watercolor, so I'm thankful I found her blog! Coffee painting looks so unique--I'll have to try it sometime.

      *returns fist bump* "Quest completed" is a good way to describe it, though I'm still praying you'll find relief from stress and you won't have to answer jury duty.

      You're welcome! I like your posts, and I like to comment when I can. Haha, thank you--and thanks for letting me share it with you!

    3. She's so gooood. *cries*

      Hahaha, I'm glad you liked it. :) (And thank you for prayers, I can't even tell you how much it helps. :*)

      Hahaha, it's like, "Christine Eyre has added a pin to your group board." Me: Aw yiss. XD

  8. I hate those moments, those times when I can't seem to have the motivation to get something done unless there is a gun held at my back.
    I find milling about in circles outside helps. Singing loudly. Doing the mountain of laundry. Eating cake. Listening to epic music.
    But you will get a chance to re-energize at Disneyland, so all's good.
    (Don't you like shopping for groceries by yourself? Yes, it means spending money, which stinks. But it also means there is no-one to stop you from having a moment of weakness and buying that extremely expensive but extremely delicious Greek yogurt!)

    1. Those moments are kind of miserable. But yeah, THAT FEELING.

      I think tomorrow I'm going to do all of those things. Except eat cake, cause Lent.

      I'm so 'cited to re-energize.

      (Eeeeh no. I don't even know why, I know all the people who work at the grocery store, I know all the aisles, I know how to shop cost effectively... but I just don't like shopping by myself.... I usually bring one of the sisters with me. Or my mom even. We get coffee. lol! WELL I don't like Greek Yogurt BUT I WILL BUY CHOCOLATE AND THAT'S A PROBLEM IN ITSELF. XD)

  9. My sister and I are willing to do a guest post, if no one else is in line. We have an art blog,, but we haven't posted in five-ever, so maybe this will help us get back into it.

    1. Yay! That would be awesome. :) If you want to email me, we can work out the details? it's ;)

      (I know, you guys never post, I'm pretty sure I follow you lol.) :)

  10. *laughing* that was amusing and needed.

    Yeahhhhh...... I can't draw. Ever. Well, I can, and my women turn out quite well - just they aren't GOOD and so I hate them. They're definitely not realisitc. In my head? All perfectly sketched out and realistic. I have the entire process in my head - know exactly what to do.

    ....and then there's some sort of hold up or something and the telegraph lines have been cut between my head and my hands and sadly my brains are not stored in my hands. Actually, that would hurt. A Lot. It's probably for the best.....

    But then I see pictures like yours, and I'm just.....

    Let me sit over here and bang my head on my desk because I can't draw and you can and I really want to and my hands and fingers and art just hates me.......

    I'll go work in Photoshop and manipulate a bunch of pictures together..... Completely useless - but at least they turn out alright and mostly as I picture.

    1. Haha, thank you. I like to be amusing.

      haha. How long have you been drawing? It takes a while for your brain and your hand to communicate to the point where you actually draw what you were envisioning. Don't give up!!! It's taken me a looong time to get where I'm at and I still see lots of flaws in my art that just.... *irritated Treskie noises*

      Try not to compare yourself with other artists, though. Try to develop your own style, rather than make your art look like someone else's. And practice, practice, practice! (I see you have a blog. Do you ever post your art there?)

      But I can't even tell you how happy it makes me that my art makes you want to bang your head on your desk. BECAUSE OTHER ARTISTS DO THAT TO ME, AND I never thought I'd be in that position!!!!!!!!!!!

      Well hey, Photoshop is cool. I'm not good at it at all. I think it's just different skill sets that fit your art style. :)

  11. Oh, Treskie. I know the feeling. I have to be in the perfect arting mood to accomplish ANYTHING creative, and sometimes those moods happen while I'm at work where I can't do anything about it! :P It's so frustrating. Or I have to do domestic things instead because, ya know, prioritizing and all that. Blogging can sometimes be hard to do, even on days when I'm off, because sometimes I'm just not in the right mood or something is distracting me and blogging doesn't happen if I can't concentrate :P Every week I feel like I should have done more or finished this or that. I do the same things every freaking day, and most days there is little time for creativity :P
    I totally get what you go through.

    "Life can can be so chaotic and insane and for people like me, it's hard to deal with it sometimes, because A.) I don't like change and B.) I literally stress out over everything. It's so stupid! I'm aware it's stupid! I know that normal people don't live their lives with a perpetual sick feeling in their stomach, but that's just the way my life is." - WE ARE SO SIMILAR. LIKE,OHMYGOODNESS. I HATE change and certainly do NOT deal with it well. I also stress out over everything. Stupid things. Robert has asked me why I let things get to me like that, and sometimes it's so hard to explain. I tend to expect and predict the worst possible scenarios (and I'm not always wrong either, unfortunately) BUT as to why I do this? Idk. I think it runs in the family and it has been ingrained into my being.
    I dislike going grocery shopping by myself too...not that I can't do it by myself, but I like it better when there is someone with me. Robert usually comes with, but before I met him I was my Mom's shopping buddy. It's just not as fun by yourself, AND I feel rather self-conscious when I'm alone in a place with a bunch of strangers.
    Ugh, the impending doom of needing to find another job but not wanting to :P I've been at war with myself about that one as well. It sucks.
    Jury Duty would cause PLENTY of ulcers. I'll be praying for you not to have to go! I haven't had that experience yet either, but I'm dreading it. I also hope I don't get pulled over by a cop any time soon because I'm dreading that day too :P

    Fandom friends are awesome XD It's so nice having friends that agree with everything!


    Il Volvo looks like the Italian version of the Jonas Brothers XD They have such strong, powerful voices! That song is a perfect definition of life.

    Sorry for the late comments :P

    Love you too, darling! <3

    1. *high fives for art block* But also, I KNOW RIGHT, THE ART MOOD *ALWAYS* COMES AT WORK. (This is why I have lots of work doodles that come home with me, because I doodle when I'm on the phone, I doodle when I'm writing stuff down, and I doodle when it's slow..... ehem. Don't judge. I still do all my work.

      But yeah, I would say if you're not feeling like blogging, I recommend NOT BLOGGING, because I've posted when I'm not feeling it, and I think it shows through....

      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH DID WE JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS, BECAUSE LITERALLY EVERY OTHER PERSON I KNOW IS LIKE, "GET OVER IT." AND I JUST GO..."YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I *CAN'T*". And it's silly because we KNOW it's silly and that it probably won't end up the way the scenarios in our head play out.... but then again, SOMETIMES THEY DO, which adds fuel to the stress, because you do the whole. "Yeah it might not happen in such-and-such a way, but there was that ONE TIME that it DID and now there's a chances that it will do so AGAIN." and so stress. lol.

      Exactly, I'm not helpless and I can shop by myself, but if someone wants to come with me, I'll take them in a heart beat. (haaa! I was my mom's shopping buddy for a long time too. And when I go by myself, it feels like whenever you go to pick up something.... especially in the produce section, people ARE JUDGING YOUR LIFE CHOICES.)
      I hate job hunting with so much hate.
      You dread the same stuff I do, like, I wouldn't really know what papers to hand the cop. It be something like,
      "License and registration."
      Me: "Well here's my license, but i'm not sure what the registration looks like, so here's every paper from the glove box. Sorry."

      I know it's like, "AW YISS, I think this, and you also think this, and it's aaaaaaaaaaawesome."

      THANK YOU!

      OKAY SO FIRST OFF ALL, NOT LIKE THE JONAS BROTHERS. NOT EVEN A LITTLE. NOPE. For one... Il Volo can actually sing. For another.... not actual brothers. For a third, they're good guys, and ehem. Yeah... Fun fact, someone mentioned to them that they were being compared to the Jonas Bros, and they were all like... "us? Noooo." Then they chattered and aggressively spoke Italian for about thirty seconds and came to the conclusion that they're somewhere in between the Jonas bros and the Three Tenors. LOL.

      No worries, your comments are awesome.

  12. Sooo, I got this message when I tried to publish my comment to you: Your HTML cannot be accepted: Must be at most 4,096 characters XD SO I sent it to you in an e-mail instead! :P


Oooh, hello! Are you going to leave me a comment? You must, I insist: your thoughts are appreciated!

I am the queen of replying to comments, so if you leave me one, I shall reply post haste. Plus! If you click on that little "Notify me" button, you'll have all follow up comments plopped right into your inbox. :)

Thanks so much for stopping by, darling.