Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Essentially me?

You know that part, in Doctor Who, when Rory's dad is keeping that log about the cubes? And since the cubes never do anything, it's basically the same log every day?

"Brian's log. Day sixty-seven. Cube was quiet all night. Once again. Cube was quiet all day. As per previously. No movement. No change in measurements. End of entry."

That's how I feel like my posts are getting. 

And then you guys are probably like Rory: "Wow. I can't wait to see what happens on day sixty-eight."

But hey, I'm half-done with the challenge! To quote Tim Hawkins, "I'm halfway done, dude!"


Day fifteen: A song that describes you.

I mulled a bit over this one, because I honestly couldn't think of a single song that fit me. 

And then I remembered this one Taylor Swift song. 

And I was like BOOM! That one!

Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming,
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little.
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up.

There's something about this song that just makes me cry. I can totally relate to it. 

It's not that I don't want to grow up, per say. (I mean, I don't really.) But it's more like I wish I had appreciated being a kid more. I always wanted to grow up and be a big girl. Seriously! I hated  being a little kid. My mom says I was a teenager by the time I was eight. 

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off.

At fourteen, there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school

That verse was me. That whole, "there's just so much you can't do." 

That was me. 

I wanted to be treated as an adult way before I actually was one. I didn't want to be one of the little girls. I think I missed out on a lot of experiences because I was too worried that I'd look like I was still a very small person. I was waaaaay more outgoing when I was little. (Now, I'm quite possibly the most introverted person in the family...) But then, nothing bothered me, really. I couldn't wait to get a job and have a life. 

And then... ... ... Real life started. 

Suddenly, I'm not footloose and fancy free. Suddenly I am  an adult and adult things that I need to do come crashing in, and I'm not ready.

I hate change. 

And the last part of the song is me  at the moment. 
Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, 
remember the words said 
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, 
 they just dropped me off.
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in......
and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple.

And yeah. There you go. That's why I love that song. It's me

Silly me. *Sheepish grin*

I think I'm just going to post this without re-reading it, so I don't get too embarrassed and decide not to. 

God bless, guys. 



  1. you know what's really strange? i just wrote a post quite similar to this and didn't post it (mainly because i already posted today).

    thing is, i did appreciate being little. oh gosh, i appreciated it to the max! i never hated being a kid. it was the best.
    and now that i'm not little anymore, i don't like it. i don't like being an adult. :p

    anywho. yep.

    1. That is weird. :) You should post it anyhoo!

      Yeah, *normal* people appreciated being kids. Normal people loved it! I was the weirdo who was like, "Nooooooo! I must be big!"
      Which, NOW, makes me miserable. lol.

      Yep. *shuffles feet*

  2. BABY! (I don't know why, but I always feel the over powering need to shout that whenever I see a baby. I need my own baby...)

    I like this song, I use it as an excuse to act like I'm still five. I think that is irrelevant to everything at the moment....but it was partly because of Taylor Swift I lost one of my bestest friends.....(in a manner of speaking) and now I use her songs as an excuse for life. And if she says never to grow up then I listen.
    Okay....I should shut up now. I'm just SOOO giddy at the moment!! You can probably guess why. My skipping is working!!! They are their brilliant wonderful selves again and Cas isn't....you know. And it is fun! And I seriously need sleep. YOu probably shouldn't read this comment. I don't think it has a point to it. I think I'm on the edge of giggling and rushing over to hug you for no reason. You know, other than the fact that you bascially qualify for my Dean because you're the only person in the world I can call a jerk and not offend.

    I should stop now...

    But I must let you know I actually read the post and care about you and I'm not using your comment box to sprout off my random, giddy, lack of sleep-ness.

    I'm just not sure what to say. We need an impala, it would make it easier to talk.
    Maybe I should just say growing up is overrated. Just be yourself, because you're the best Treskie I know and I'd be sad if you grew up and left me behind. *Blink, blink* That made no sense. I should just email you, because I don't like being sappy where all the world can read it. But then I'd be sappy in an email....and I shouldn't be sappy when I'm giddy, I've done that before and it sounded funny.

    I guess I could sum up by saying jobs are scary and growing up is scary, but when it gets too scary and change ish I shall come down with jammy dodgers and TV marathons and help you hide from the world.

    1. Jack!!

      Sad story? The first thing I thought when I read BABY was, "Did I post a picture of the impala?!" lol! How sad is that?

      That song has a good message, I think. Like, "Don't be in such a raging hurry to grow up! It's not as awesome as you think!"
      Aw... I'm sorry about your friend. :( I don't know why so many people hate Taylor. I mean, compared to most of the younger celebrities, she's a really good girl.

      YEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Dances around like a moron* So I'm guessing you finished S6, and Cas isn't you-know-what with a capital G? WOOT! I'm glad the skipping is working!!!
      And the boys are back to normal? *dancing increases to level: Insane*
      I'll join you in the giggling, because I was starting to get worried about the series. LOL! I'm the Dean to your Sammy? THIS IS AWESOMESAUCE!! Witch....

      Aww. You guys are all so sweet. :)
      An impala would make it easier to talk. People seem to have a lot of heart to heart conversations in or around impalas. lol.

      I promise not to grow up too much. Wouldn't want to leave my favorite witch behind. *blinks back*

      It is scary! *sniff* Ooooh, wait for it! SPN Reference! "Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaaaaah! *swallow* That was scary!" lol.

      I'd welcome a marathon, indeed. Tea? *grin*

      Anyway... thank you bunches for the comment, Jack. :) It really helped, even if it was giddy. It made perfect sense to me. *hugs* oxo

  3. That song always reminds me of my first few weeks in Bakersfield.

    Growing up is a painful business, but there are lots of good things about it too. The independence is awfully nice. And so is the adventure of getting to do things by yourself. :-)

    1. Oh, I'll bet it does, actually.

      Independence is probably very nice. Adventure is out therrrre! But I still feel like Jodie Foster in Nim's Island. "Tastes bad!"

  4. But you catched up. i mean in your teens when you realized what you missed, you began to enjoy the joys with family. Think of it like you became a kid again. There are people who never change inside and don't grow up. Basically my family is like that, we joke around and laugh.

    So don't you worry. Enjoy your life that God gave you with your family and never grow up. ;)

    1. Yep. Well. I always enjoyed the family, I just never wanted to be a little kid in the family. lol.
      But there is also a difference between not growing up really and being completely immature. You're not immature, you just know how to grow up right. lol.

      I'm trying not to worry, But I am a worrier, I'm always nervous about something, so it's hard. lol. You're sweet. *hugs*

    2. Aw thanks. And I understand. You're talking to another worrier, LOL! What helps me is by speaking about it to my mom. She totally gets me. If you like, you can try talking to someone you are close to.

      ***hugs back :D

    3. Oh, I do. I talk to my mom and my sisters and my friends, and nothing really helps. I just need to suck it up and deal. ;)

  5. I have never heard this song before. I totally relate to what you're talking about, though. It's crazy.

    love this post! <3

    1. Never?! Isn't it a good song? That last verse does me in every time.

      I'm glad other people relate to me. lol... everyone else seems to handle it so much better than I do.

      I'm glad you liked it!!! :-P oxox

  6. Awww, don't be embarassed, darling. It's perfectly understandable and I'm pretty sure a lot of teenagers feel like that - I know I do. :)

    1. Hehehe. *blush*

      It makes me happy that everyone's like, "I RELATE!" Because then I'm like, "I'm not alone!"

  7. I'm just gonna say "ditto", cause all the good comments are taken. :)


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